Saturday, 20 August 2016

Day 33

Feeling good. Have got so much more energy & continuing to read lots which really helps.

Definitely worried about work weekend away in next month or so - it's the usual expectation of large nights, stories to remember, endless boozing. Am dreading the fancy dress games!

Why do I anticipate it'll be really tough without booze? I dunno.... Think it's because I won't have alcohol to take the edge off. Blunt my embarrassment. Stop me caring what I look like, what others will think. Mean that I don't look like the party pooper who just doesn't find 'enforced fun' and games funny. Harrumph. I have to go. It'll be fine. But I'll need nerves of steel to get through it.

Am I blowing it out of proportion? Maybe. Have to remember most people care & think about themselves too much to worry & wonder at what others are doing / not doing!!

Horrific incident #2
My DC complaining 'you stink of wine mummy' as I'm giving goodnight kisses. On many occasions.

My mum was a boozer, and I remember her being so disengaged & otherwise occupied. Ready to snap & fly off the handle at the littlest thing. I'm doing this to be a better parent than I have been. Must keep that in my head. And it's working so far.

Sleep well. Another day done, well done.

Xx

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